My answers to the Proust Questionnaire that no one asked for.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
My grandmother’s been gone 25 years, but I can still walk into the tidal pool across from where her house once stood on the north west coast of Puerto Rico whenever I need a hug.
2. What is your greatest fear?
That everything they say about imposter syndrome is wrong.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I’ll circle back on this, I swear.
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Cognitive inflexibility.
5. Which living person do you most admire?
Tupac.
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
Eyewear.
7. What is your current state of mind?
Bzzzzzzzz.
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Humility.
9. On what occasion do you lie?
When telling the truth would prematurely collapse a promising creative idea.
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My face does so much talking before I say a word.
11. Which living person do you most despise?
The person who deads conversations with 'it is what it is.’
The person who says, “I hear you,” then proceeds to do nothing differently.
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Tolerance.
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Intolerance.
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
“Where are my keys?”
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Ideas.
16. When and where were you happiest?
’96, ’97 Chicago
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
Speed reading.
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
This damn sweet tooth.
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Knowing when to leave a party.
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
A world-changing Twitter feud.
21. Where would you most like to live?
Tokyo. Or Barcelona? Maybe Amsterdam.
22. What is your most treasured possession?
A wrench my grandfather made.
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
In life? coasting.
24. What is your favorite occupation?
On a bicycle? coasting.
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
Active listening. Surprisingly (frustratingly!) rare skill.
26. What do you most value in your friends?
Presence.
27. Who are your favorite writers?
Clarice Lispector, Garielle Lutz, Jerzy Kosinski, Morrison, Salinger, Baldwin...
28. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
The Tortoise.
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
The version of James Baldwin who read society for filth at parties.
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
Insightful strategists.
31. What are your favorite names?
Nah, I could write a doctoral dissertation on the way Puerto Ricans think about names.
32. What is it that you most dislike?
Guilt.
33. What is your greatest regret?
Staying in that one relationship too long.
34. How would you like to die?
In fresh underwear.
35. What is your motto?
Chaos is a ladder.